EQ or Emotional Intelligence can be defined as the ability to be aware of, identify, understand, control and express your emotions. It also encompasses the ability to be aware of and understand the emotions of others, along with the ability to navigate your relationships with good judgement and empathy. EQ is one of the most important skills each of us can find rich benefit in developing and intentionally leaning into.
EQ has an impact on you as an individual, but it also impacts your relationship. Persons with low levels of EQ struggle to manage their emotions well, they struggle to understand and empathize with others, and they tend to have low levels of self-awareness. As a result, couples can find themselves encountering unnecessary and avoidable conflict. When we don’t take the time to attune to ourselves, our emotions and our needs, we can find ourselves lashing out at others and leaning into more knee-jerk reactions instead of taking the time to process a healthy response. It is so important to take a beat before choosing to respond.
Persons with high levels of EQ tend to have healthier and more connected relationships. When we know what we feel and we’re able to articulate that to someone else, it increases the intimacy between us and them. Being able to have a grasp on your emotional experience allows you to understand yourself in a deeper way which leads to deeper levels of self-awareness and self-regulation, two important aspects of EQ.
When we know and can identify how we feel, when we’re able to process through why we feel inclined to react/respond in a certain way, and when we can attune to the emotions and emotional experiences of our partners/spouses, it places us in a position to experience greater satisfaction within our relationships. Developing EQ is a process, and this skill can definitely be learned. While you may never arrive and while it may feel exhausting sometimes, as someone who intentionally leans into her EQ, I promise you it’s worth every bit of effort!