When we look at the topic of conflict, this can bring up different emotional responses and thoughts for all of us for various reasons. Maybe some of us prefer to avoid conflict, avoid confrontation, and dealing with any tension whatsoever. On the flip side, maybe some of us welcome conflict, we can sit in the uneasiness even when it’s challenging, and we can move towards to the other side. Both perspectives are valid, and where you fall on the spectrum is important to know.
We all come from different backgrounds, different cultures, and different upbringings, and when we get into romantic relationships, we bring all of that baggage with us. This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing, but it is important to understand that all of it informs the way we show up in our romantic relationships, and how we handle conflict within them.
Regardless of the points of contention within your relationship, it is crucial that both you and your partner develop the skills to manage your conflict in a healthy way so it does not perpetually negatively impact your relationship.
The How – Take A Breather
If you find yourself in a position where you and your partner have gotten into a conversation which has now led to a disagreement, it may be a wise decision to take a beat, step back, and take a breather. By doing this, you give yourself and your system time to regroup, get grounded, and then you’re able to come back to the situation and to your partner with a clearer mind and you’re less likely to react in an emotional way that could potentially be damaging to your relationship.
The How- Empathetically Listen
When conflict arises within your relationship, you and your partner may not always agree, but what you can do is listen with empathy. Try to see your partner’s perspective, try to get an understanding of where they may be coming from, and listen to actually listen, and not listen to just respond. Even though it may be challenging to hold space for them initially, you can discover so much more when you decide to lean into that space with them, and them with you. There is room for your voice to be heard as well as the voice of your partner’s.
The Why – Because, You Love Each Other
The why is pretty simple; managing conflict is vital because if you truly love your partner, you will want to be the best version of yourself possible, and you want to give your relationship your absolute best. Managing conflict can get ugly sometimes depending on the issue, the context, and a myriad of factors. The heart of it though, is to to able to see your partner, connect with them, and together figure out how you can both move forward in the healthiest way possible. As you learn to manage your conflict as a couple, your relationship gets stronger and your connection grows deeper.
Even though it may not be easy, managing conflict is one of the most important skills all couples need to possess if they want to see their relationship truly work and succeed. Slow progress, is still progress, and baby steps towards this goal matter just as much as the big leaps do! ♥️